∆

I Do Not Love You

2011-11-17T22:01:00.002+08:00

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

- Pablo Neruda

Sometimes.

2011-10-05T09:25:00.000+08:00

Sometimes people come into your life and you know
right away that they were meant to be there, to serve
some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help
you figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be - a friend, a lover,
a roommate, a neighbour, a professor, or even a
complete stranger - but when you lock eyes with them,
you know at that very moment they will affect your
life in some profound way.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness,
and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of
your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they
may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight
flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and
comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the
success and downfalls you experience, help to create
who you are and who you become. Even the bad
experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are
sometimes the most important ones.

If someone loves you, love them back in
whatever way you can, not only because they love you,
but because in a way, they are teaching you to love
and how to open your heart and eyes to newer things.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your
heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn
about trust and the importance of being cautious to
whom you open your heart.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high.

And if you love someone tell them, for you never know
what tomorrow may have in store.

Life 101

2011-09-02T09:44:00.000+08:00

i actually got this one off my old high school teacher who decided to share the lessons he learnt throughout his life with us. after all those years, he's still taking me to school. so without further ado, here it is: a 15 step guide to Life.

1. When you are doing a lousy job and people tell you about it, it’s because they care about you.

2. It’s never a question of whether you can or cannot. It’s only a question of whether you want to or not.

3. You can lose anything in this world but never your Integrity.

4. When you make a mistake, (i) 'fess up to it, (ii) say ‘I am Sorry’, (iii) learn from it.

5. Follow your interests, not your friends.

6. The Meaning of your Life must be more than just dollars and cents.

7. Choose your words carefully. Your words can build someone up or cut someone down.

8. You can achieve anything when you put your heart, mind and soul into it.

9. You find the greatest happiness when you give from your heart.

10. Never assume your family would be around with you forever. Never ever take them for granted.

11. If the only prayer that you say is ‘Thank You’, it’s more than enough.

12. Those who have so little are able to give so much.

13. Live your Dreams. Pursue your Passion. Follow your Heart

14. Live your Best. Leave No Regrets.

15. Love Freely, Unselfishly and Without Discrimination.

Racelessness.

2011-07-27T05:20:00.000+08:00

as of late, the subdued existentialism i've been going through has led me to many derived ideas and suggestions for the benefit of humankind. one of these erratic ideas is the concept of 'racelessness'.

the notion of 'racelessness' is simple: an anti-label designed to curb society of their one comfort zone of 'fitting in' with society. in short, to be 'raceless' is to be bereft of a brand handed to you at birth and to identify with the rest of the world as co-existors.

since young, i've had a general uneasiness with the idea of identifying myself with culture, race and ethnicity. i grew up watching people place their race and ethnic background as a priority and pride themselves upon it. they would seek others like them in a bid to broaden their social standing. you could see the comfort in their eyes when the other party looked like them, talked like them and thought like them. now i'm not saying all these people are racist. it's human nature after all to seek and perceive similarity in everything around us.

but the idea of priding yourself upon something which was not even yours to choose is logically absurd. in almost all of these race-proud people, the intangible poison of superiority sometimes slips through the cracks and shows these people for what they truly are: race-chauvinists.

that's right. the age old taunt of 'i'm better than you'. a taunt which has divided humanity for centuries. till now, i cannot find an excuse or reason for needing to identify a person by his race. unless of course, you're a Nazi scientist.

to be truly 'raceless', one would have to renounce his cultural identity and fashion himself to a new identity. a person of the human race. let's face it. that's the one race worth being proud of and we should give us all reason to be proud of it. nothing is ever sacred.

the radical notion of safeguarding and protecting one's race and heritage is a mere dream. the world is changing. species, languages, cultures; all lost in time. let it go. ask yourself how many people have been killed in the name of difference alone because if you still think racial identity is worth saving, ask the 6 million Jews in Nazi Germany, ask the many Chinese and Malays who died on the 13th May, ask the Pakistanis and the Indians in the 1940s, ask the Chinese who were massacred by the Japanese, ask the Bosnians in Srebrenica, ask the Indians in South Africa and ask the Palestinians and the Israelis.

to me, labels are the friends of prejudice. and prejudice is the enemy of acceptance. the world, this world should push for a more open and inclusive society, without cultural and ethnic lines, inculcating its people to the bridge of harmony, where no one is left behind due to their creed, colour and culture. 'foreign' should be foreign.

"... I hope someday you'll join us / And the world will be as one." - John Lennon

A Promise

2011-03-10T14:44:00.002+08:00

On this hill top
You buried me
As a younger man
You gathered 'round
My empty husk
And spoke of how I was so loved

And as the sun died
You promised that you'd seek me out
Well now the years have weathered you
And soon I'll claim you for my arms again

And if our hearts all disappear
And if our bones, they crumble to the soil
Well all our love will rise again
And we'll float to the sea.

Detachment.

2011-02-15T14:41:00.005+08:00

sometimes I find myself wondering why my posts of late betray my emotional fortress that I have worked so painstakingly to build. maybe it's the Universe's way of telling me that emotions can't be contained, that feelings are meant to be spilled to be felt. or maybe I'm just a wuss.

either way, I've been trying to keep my mind on the straight and narrow and im just getting started untangling it. but I find revelation in it's entanglement. you sort of grow as a person when you connect with yourself I think. and that's the most important person. yourself.

when it comes to despair, worry for the future or an impossible love you know you'll never have, the first person you should talk to is yourself. which brings me to my detachment.

detachment can manifest itself in many ways. I find myself looking at the events in my life, current and past, from a distance, a voyeuristic perspective, if you will and I'm surprised to find it actually helps me deal with it better. and it hasn't been easy at all. as none of you know, I'm not your average guy. some will say im a few sandwiches short of a picnic, others may say I'm damaged goods, call me whatever you want really.

I've taken it a step further: detachment from the world. *collective gasp* yes although my future profession would frown on this view, I find that having a detached point of view of the world helps me get through. war, famine, poverty, destruction, prejudice. you can't just stomach all these and not be affected by it. after all, it's our duty as a fellow Earthling to help our fallen right? but detachment saves me from certain depression at the hand that fate has dealt these people. this world. I can work to change the world without becoming too personally involved.

i prefer not to wallow in the misery of life's cruelty. nor do i want to keep dwelling in the past. whatever life hands out, I take it on the chin. there's really no point in looking back. this isn't some Zen theology I'm harping on, merely a human way of coping with the god forsaken obstacles in life and all of its insanity.

Solitude

2011-01-27T05:25:00.002+08:00

what to say when all the words have run out?
emotion betrays my stone face
and I find myself drawn ever more to you.
will you judge me if I tell you how I feel?

I know i can't keep this from you
but I promised I would
because you can never know
what secrets lie locked in my mind

what has imploded beneath us?
this chasm of hate, this valley of doubt
in this solitude, I voyage to these places
to affirm my bond to you.

dead is the air without you knowing
around my careless and dancing hair
needlessly forestalling my confession
hoping you hear as I whisper it in my pillow.

The Game of Life.

2011-01-07T12:24:00.004+08:00

someone once told me i'm as forward as the rear end of a truck. i still don't know what that means. but allow me to be as simple and direct with this one as possible.

i used to think of life as a mosntrous obstacle. one that needs careful planning, time and money, loads of money to be made the most out of and overcome. then, somewhere along the road, i lost it all. and losing it all made me come to realise that life itself wasn't the obstacle. i was.

put it simply, my friends, life has become a game for me. it's a game we all play. not something you take seriously and try your utmost best to comprehend and try to keep on winning in.

i see life as i see fluid. a brilliant legato, if you will, that you ride on. a journey in which you ever-learn. in this game, there are no winners or losers. only better players. this game teaches you appreciation; for faith, for hope, for people, for love.

but don't base life on the amount of money you make, or the number of cars you have or the number of people you've slept with. it's no competition. out-doing your neighbour (no pun unintended) will not get you anywhere.

i've learnt to take things as they come. i don't need material wealth to keep me happy. just love and peace. the problems in life can do nothing to get me down. just as sure as the tides, solutions readily present themselves to every problem in life. it's all a matter of keeping the faith and finding it.

for me, every day a new chapter. every day an experience. the places i go and the people i've met enrich me constantly. and i'm thankful.

Spirituality or Religion?

2010-10-26T11:16:00.000+08:00

im not religious. period. i've lost the plot of religion. my parents telling me to go to church on sundays used to hold little meaning for me. now it holds none. nowadays i say church is a place where people go to compare clothing on sunday. how many of the faithful flock to service just for the sole purpose to pray and seek faith? little if not very few. don't get me wrong. maybe there are a few of you who find solace in the temple of god. but i find it very redundant that we seek comfort in four walls built by man and in views expoused by man. do we really know if this is the 'right' kind of worship? we do not. i speak for christianity because i am qualified to. but it certainly holds weight in the other religions as well. this is not a 'my religion is better than yours' viewpoint. it is simply to highlight how convoluted religion has become.
the bible tells me to condemn people who are different; the non-believers, the adulterers, the homosexuals. but on the other hand, it tells me to love my neighbour as how god has loved me. now truly this is not the message of god. it sounds more like the views of men who wanted the ideal society where these subhumans are purged from society. editing the bible would have a seemingly good effect on future generations who would then shun these people in the name of god. but what are we teaching here? to preach selective hate? that is not what faith, hope and love is about. that is not what god is about.
i am convinced to turn away from organized religion and to focus on spirituality. i do believe in god. i believe there is a higher power and i am destined to live my life according to his ways; to love and care for my fellow man in this lifetime so that i will meet my maker to tell him i have lived my life to the fullest. but i will not follow in the path of self-righteous men who have diluted religion for their own agendas. who have altered the teachings of god for their own personal gain. my god speaks to me and i will listen. i will have my own conversation with Him and let his spirit guide me. but i will not pray to an effigy or an idol, in a place of worship, singing along to delicate tunes and standing, sitting and kneeling every now and then.
let spirituality guide you. the sole belief in god, and not what man says about god.

The Eloquence of Noise

2010-10-13T04:33:00.002+08:00

just three frequencies. in triad. set in harmony. you get a chord. the happy, joyous ring of the major. set the middle note back a semi-tone, and you get the haunting, mourning cry of the minor.
yeah, it's these simple things in life that amazes me.
and though i don't know it, it's these simple things that matter the most.
and who would have known that something this simple can convey so much emotion when set in an absolute blend?
a rushing dose of ecstacy to your brain, to your very centre.
you find yourself just closing your eyes to the pain, love, hurt, joy.
the pleasure of pure, unadulterated sound just washing over you.
i don't mean that synthesized, digitized rasping that some choose to name genres after.
but the raw, unedited purr of a violin, or the snap of a guitar string or the voice of a piano.

thank god for music.

Life and Debt.

2010-10-06T02:48:00.005+08:00

ah conspiracies. ever the fascinating subject to talk about. i love how just a mere rumour of a scenario sets people's minds churning. but hell, you name it. JFK, Elvis, CIA, the Moon, the Twin Towers, Michael Jackson, Aliens, that old lady who lives down your street...there's bound to be some truth in most of these conspiracies. often enough, it just boils down to odd coincidence.

but how far does coincidence stretch? for you who follows the news and current events would know by now that China plans to toss a drowning Greece, a lifejacket. and toss Spain an alarm clock for their siesta. and why not? China is rich. they have vast resource. they can practically do whatever the hell they want. hell, they can influence economies, trade markets and stocks. they are so powerful, they can choose to liberate any debt-stricken nation just like that.
hey hang on. all this sounds very familiar. wasn't the US doing this oh about 30 years ago? yeah that's right. back then when they were a superpower? that means that..but this is..but i thought..wait..are you thinking what i'm thinking B1? i think i am B2, it global domination time! get your chopsticks out and censor those google pages, ladies and gentlemen, we're in for a bumpy ride.

but it's anyone's guess really. 50/50. but here's where the conspiracy lies.

put yourself in Uncle Sam's shoes. if you were in a trillion smackeroos neck deep in crap, and your global influence is fading, with your country's economy taking shit every day because of the Arabs, and on top of that, your biggest nemesis has started plans to snatch the throne from you, what would you do?

nothing? you must be a redneck.

me? simple. run a bunch of cockamamie pro-America propaganda over the media and indirectly warn people that if you order Chinese take-out, you're gonna end up with diarrhoea in the morning. then i sit back and relax with a copy of Forbes' Top 10 Richest People in America. (Theory #1: US's top 4 richest people can amass almost US$2 trillion with only 40% of their wealth.)
gasp. heeeyy! that's enough to bail me out. with change to spare! better start being nice to these kinda people. and you, Leroy, Kumar and Gonzales, you shut up and keep on working. i'm not paying you to slack off. in fact, i'm not paying you at all. you better get used to it.

man, i wish we had the Soviet Union or the Socialists to heckle. made us feel goddamn big.

Hello.

2010-10-04T17:17:00.003+08:00

Здравствуйте!! hello to you especially to reading this. that is right. YOU. i back. i take many time off this internet to concantrate on study. i miss time i can write like this, well, is not so much write but more like typing da? hahaha. do you get it? is funny.. anyways is just me and thought flow out of head like raging chechnyan killing bosnian. i is happy to be back. many things is change. i am learning many new culture and way of life. i think i becomes much different person. i always like to learn new thing and peoples, since i am little boy. is good to learn about expariences. it make you better human. not many thing can be learn from the schools. some thing you have to learn is from life itself.

but da, i am typing (or writting? haha) this because exam is coming for me like how Stalin come for serfs. i no worry. i ready. i feel ready. i happy to be ready for exam. that is why i have plenty much many time to talk here. please to stay tune for more update. i will post artikal (???) if there is things are worth to be writting about. (or typing (?) hahahah. i is funny person.) okay i say enough here for now. let me go back to book. i see you soon da? spasiba.

S.P. please to excuse my english. it take a while for to learn languange. da vostok.

Oh No! The World is Ending! (with a little bit of luck.)

2010-06-18T20:12:00.013+08:00

naw just kidding. the world's not ending. someone's job may be ending, but definitely not the world. sorry mayans.

a landmark, uhh, watermark, in Singapore's ubersuperduper efficient road system has gotten tongues wagging. (and possibly some heads rolling). for those blissfully ignorant, the 16th of June started out like any other wet, besotted, bedraggled, soggy, damp, moist, soaked, sloshed, drippy morning. heavy rains all abound. needless to say i had the best of mornings, waking in the afternoon to dark and gloomy storm clouds. (my favourite.)

there i was supposed to meet a friend at a starbucks in Orchard. so i decided to head out at around 3. the rain showed signs of slowing about an hour before that, so i thought i'd just run out of the house and enjoy the rest of the day rain-free in my car. but as fate would have it, my friend calls and cancels the meet for some errands. the rain again pounding heavier than ever, i shrug it off and grin to myself as that meant getting to spend the rest of the day at home and away from the hazard that is society.

mother of pearl, what greeted my eyes that night on the news.

Mother Nature 1
Singapore 0

i wonder how many people must have thought Singapore was sinking.

Uhh no, really?

2010-06-17T00:24:00.001+08:00

Obese have poorer sex life: study

PARIS (AFP) - – Obese women are likelier to neglect contraception, obese men are more prone to impotence and both are far less sexually active than counterparts of normal weight, a study said on Wednesday.

The findings highlight "a major reproductive health challenge," requiring doctors to pierce the twin taboos of obesity and sex, it said.

The research covered 10,170 men and women aged 18-69 whose data was randomly chosen from a French survey of sexual behaviour carried out in 2006.

Around two-thirds were of normal weight, a quarter were overweight and the remainder (411 women and 350 men) were obese.

Overweight was defined by having a body mass index (BMI) of between 25 and 30, and obesity as a BMI of at least 30.

Obese women were 29 percent less likely to have had a sex partner in the previous 12 months, compared with women of normal weight.

Obese men were 69 percent less likely to report having more than one sexual partner in the same period and two and a half times likelier to report erection problems than non-obese counterparts. Obese men under 30 were also far likelier to have a sexually-transmitted disease.

Sexual dysfunction -- lack of desire or arousal or pain in intercourse -- was not a problem for obese women.

However, those under 30 were far likelier not to use contraception or to seek contraceptive advice. Unintended pregnancies among obese women were more than four times higher than among women of normal weight.

That discovery is especially worrying, as obesity is a major factor in mother and infant death and sickness.

The study, published online by the British Medical Journal (BMJ), was headed by Nathalie Bajos of the National Institute of Health and Medical Research (Inserm) in Paris.

In a commentary published by the BMJ, Sandy Goldbeck-Wood, a British gynaecologist specialising in psychosexual medicine, said the findings should ring alarm bells, given the unfurling global epidemic of obesity.

"In public health terms, the study lends a new slant to a familiar message: that obesity can harm not only health and longevity, but your sex life. And culturally, it reminds us clinicians and researchers to look at the subjects we find difficult."

Uhh no, really?

2010-06-17T00:24:00.000+08:00

Serendipity and then some.

2010-06-12T18:45:00.002+08:00

a getaway to forget your cares. thats exactly what langkawi was. well to my best anyway. boy did i forget much when i was there. thank you cheap booze for making me feel like a $2 tramp. god knows what happened on that beach that night. though, the stars and the crashing waves did wonders to calm the hell outta me.

and that's when i found myself. that night, under those stars and on that beach. with a certain friend telling me how awesome this night was. i didnt pay attention to him at the least, sorry. all i know is i was hit so hard by existentialism that i could not even absorb the sheer reality of the present situation. now im not one of those guys who just appreciate beauty for beauty's sake but it's just one of those times that you really become grateful for being alive. and you want to make something out of this life. because it only comes around once. although, thinking back, from the ghastly amount of money spent, i don't really feel the need to go on living anyway.
heh heh. just a little joke. got a couple bucks on ya? heh heh. another joke. heh. no seriously?

24ngkawi

2010-06-03T22:39:00.006+08:00

PROLOGUE

so i'm basically oh-em-gee-ing right now since another outing starts in exactly 24 hours. its been ages since the last outing with the embers of E3. so much for an outing it was. hey, don't get me wrong. it was a blast hanging out with the guys, but me on the other hand, was sick as eggs. so thanks to some panadol supplied by a streetsmart friend, it was bearable.

so we head off tomorrow on a bus, then a ferry. to this island where people are tested on, checking limits of mental capacity and then the...oh, getting a bit sidetracked there.
anw, i shall be departing perak in the morning tomorrow, where i will reach KL and pack a little, play some pranks on the guards in my apartment, (you know, like stand INSIDE the hostel boundaries and plead with the guard to let you OUT.), cuss at those disrespectful ingrates who fill the swimming pool, which faces my window, and subjects me to the view of their bodies, which is to die from. (that's right, from, not for.)

but nonetheless, i shall try to make the most out of tomorrow, before i leave for great unknowns. kuala perlis sounds quite daunting. then again, anything with 'perlis' in it is always daunting. so, for now, stay tuned and you may hear more stories about this strange island and the 5 brave men who tried to conquer it but ended up getting drunk instead.

Errata.

2010-05-28T06:45:00.004+08:00

They laid me down in a grave
As if it would be my final resting place,
Filling it with the Earth’s rotting soil.
They tried to destroy me,
Wishing I would just go away,
But what is it?
What have they really done?
The simple minds of mortal men,
They have sent me back
To the place that is my origin.
Destroy me,
The more they try
The more powerful I’ve become.
And now I have risen
From my earthly grave
And now I will slay the ones
I once saved.
The reckoning is upon us.
The day the Ministry of Darkness seizes the land,
Destroys all that you hold dear,
Make play things of your heroes
And devour your innocence.
The plague of darkness is coming,
And the all encompassing evil
For which there is no escape.
No mercy,
No hope,
It's called the future,
And in the future
I will look down upon thee
And I will decide
Whether you are an agent of darkness,
Or are you just mere kindling for my fires?
The power of darkness shall be offered only to a chosen few,
And those that resist the temptations of my Ministry,
Pain becomes synonymous with punishment.
Embrace the Darkness and relish in the earthly delights
That pain has to offer,
Resist,
and there are no limits to the torment you subject yourself to.
Don’t fight it,
It will tear your soul apart.
So let my servants be few and secret.
They shall rule the many and the known,
I am the reaper of men,
The chaser of souls,
The weaver of nightmares;
I am the heart of Darkness. I am now and ever will be
The purity of evil.
The hell you were threatened with as a child
Is no longer an option,
It is a reality,
A living breathing reality,
And you all are right in the middle of it.
Yes, Hell has relocated to Earth.
Now you will know why you are afraid of the dark,
And you will learn why…

How Low is Low Really? (18SX)

2010-05-16T17:39:00.006+08:00

the mass media troubles me here. instead of practising authentic self-censorship like how proper journos are supposed to do, the media go all out. it's like a 4 year old giving you a play by play of how his first dump went.

and that's who im concerned about. the kids.

The Star is pretty much exposed to the general public. (no, contrary to popular belief, they don't ask you for your IC when you try to buy one. and no, there are no underaged kids who try to buy one wearing a fake moustache.) the public can get one anytime, anyplace, anywhere. just like a condom.

what concerns me is a certain politician's on going trial. nope, it's not CBT, it's not bribery, it's not burglary, it's not toilet pee. it's sodomy! it can get pretty messy. and believe me, it has. the 'victim', a certain unknown junkie/hobo/highschool dropout suddenly decided he was tired of walking through main doors and wanted to try the backdoor instead. with the premier's permission, of course.

and the newspapers are having a field day. the articles are priceless. but what im saying is, would you really want your kids exposed to who rinsed his anus when and who didn't take a shit for god knows how long? how about how it happened? who wore a towel and who was told to have a shower to relax or who reported back to work the day after the alleged 'invasion', wearing a happy (read: satisfied) smirk on his mug?

now i don't want to speculate on who's the guilty party here. all i know is that i have a heart for the children for their sake. spare them the agony and awkward questions. i'm not complaining about the sordid details. give me sodomy any day! but no boy scout or girl guide should be exposed to this trash of reporting.

i really would like to know what the reporters say when their kid asks the golden question, "mommy, what is anal?"

Status Update

2010-04-26T00:51:00.001+08:00

It's about time for my annual performance (1st Quarter.)
Below are the achievements and accomplishments I have made for the first quarter of 2010.
They are as follows:

Thank you.

This one's for you, Karl.

2010-04-22T11:33:00.000+08:00

Yellow Alert.

2010-04-21T01:15:00.001+08:00

Please excuse the leave of absence due to technical difficulties. Any inconvenience is deeply appreciated.

Please Save the Dolphins.

2010-04-09T21:42:00.010+08:00

watching the Cove just made me want to vaporise the Japanese all over again. specifically Taiji in general. just the bastards that do these things. recreational killing? yes, we know you lot are a healthy lot, eating fish and whatnot. we know you satisfy (overdose) your daily mercury and protein intake every day. we know you prefer red hemoglobinated waters instead. but have a heart goddamnit. you're killing fellow mammals out there. give the dolphins and whales a break. there're no animals that deserve the brutality and torture you inflict on them day after day.

it's maddening that the authorities dont do anything about these kinds of things since they're either too hooked on delicacies to shove in their bukkake face or too busy stuffing sushi up their ass.

and they wonder why the west still ridicules them.
god bless you rick o'barry.

join the cause. better to be an activist, than an inactivist.

www.takepart.com/thecove

Oceanic Protection Society

Save Japan's Dolphins

The Good Friday Weekend

2010-04-09T00:32:00.007+08:00

my apologies for the week's overdue. been having to manage with a retarded connection coupled with the fact that bandar sunway has the internet reception capability of a fruitcake.

so anyway, the weekend went pretty good last week, having to go back to singapore for the easter hols. hosted a luncheon at the folks' place, which is something i've missed doing. not to mention all the free wine and turkey. and chocolate eggs. how the hell does resurrection and eggs tie together? do they both signify the beginning of new life? does jesus want to add a new food item into the list of bread and wine? am i just telling bad yokes? you tell me.

anyways, went to this church on good friday, which i haven't been to in ages. apparently in this church, once the service is over, they hoist the figure of jesus off the cross and place him, complete with robes and bandages, in a cortege and hold a funeral procession around the grounds. complete with mourners and weeping women of jerusalem. it's kinda like watching 'the passion of christ' with bad actors.

overall, it was pretty interesting to watch so i took the liberty of taking pics of the event while others were looking at me like i was some kind of pagan paparazzi. hey stop judging me. its not as if jesus was watching or anything.

Woman of Jerusalem.

Symbol of the Cross with the Bloodied Cloth

Approaching Procession.

The Cortege

The 'Body' of Christ

Okay to be Gay?

2010-03-31T18:08:00.003+08:00

KUALA LUMPUR (AFP) - – Film-makers can depict homosexuals for the first time in strictly censored Malaysia -- so long as they repent or even go straight in the end, an industry group said Monday.

Strict censorship rules in the mostly Muslim country means books and films are routinely banned or scenes deleted that are deemed detrimental to moral values or religious sensitivities.

The new censorship guidelines reverse a ban on scenes featuring homosexuality, Malaysian Film Producers' Association president Ahmad Puad Onah said. But there's a catch.

"We are now allowed to show these scenes," he told AFP. "As long as we portray good triumphing over evil and there is a lesson learnt in the film, such as from a gay (character) who turns into a (straight) man.

hey shall we also make Freddy Kruger turn into a pink and yellow butterfly in the end?
or how about make Ghost Rider turn into Knight Rider?
or a movie with Hitler finally winning for a change.
good over evil!

but wait, what about those serious hollywood type movies that revolve around a gay person? yeah!

shall we turn Truman Capote into a motherlicking pimp who 'repents' with 12 biatches?
or maybe turn Harvey Milk into a repenting politician who actually prefers to be corrupt and racist.
(which is waaaay better than being gay.)
or let's show Brokeback Mountain here and have one of the cowboys rubbing his bum and finally saying, "damn it. when i said gay, i meant HAPPY!!!"

because boys and girls, in case your mommy and daddy didn't tell you, you can catch gay. even from tv. so don't sit too close and don't say i didnt warn you.

Zen.

2010-03-28T03:28:00.006+08:00

so lately, i've become a huge fan of the TV series, Life. it's basically about a cop who gets put away for 12 years on a count of murdering his friend's family, but his innocence is obvious. anyhow, he gets thrown in state pen, his sentence is life, but instead of plotting his revenge, finds the light of zen. he comes back out after getting acquitted, rejoins the force, and uses his newfound zen ways to resolve homicide cases and at the same time, trying to find out who set him up. interesting, no?

but the teachings of zen got me thinking.

its quite enlightening to say things like 'gold dust, no matter how precious, will still blind you.' or 'give a man a fish, feed him for a day, teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.' but the essential fact is that you don't have to know zen to be zen.

i've come to realise that i have been subconsciously practising these teachings and applying them to my daily life without even being exposed to the great Buddha and his mystical ways.

to look on others as you look upon yourself.
to see god in the most lowliest of men.
to respect all ways of life and creed.
to not be punished for anger, but be punished by anger.
to understand, than to be understood.

now, by knowing them, i am reinforcing them, and i am learning more. and this has brought about new meaning to my life. i see things now in a way i could probably never see about 4 years ago. this is the way of life that brings about peace. something i can truly stand for. after all, does life really have to be about suffering and work and misery and pain?
can life not be love, peace, faith and hope?

even if mankind does not share this same sentiment, i can always hope that the hope of goodwill spreads like wildfire among us all. and i know that by the end of the day, i would be content. this life of mine should not be spent wondering why man cannot love and be loved. this life of mine should be spent teaching man to love and be loved. and in order to teach something, you would first have to learn how to do it yourself.

so thus, commences my journey.

Scenes from My Daily Life:

2010-03-25T23:59:00.002+08:00

Programme Director, Mrs. X, gives a lecture on who exactly are the persons-in-charge in case a student needs immediate attention. Mrs. X then announces and introduces Programme Co-ordinator and Counsellor, Mr. Y.

(words are spelt exactly as they are pronounced. this is deliberate.)

Mrs. X: Okay, ladies and gentremen, this one is Mr. Y. He is your pogram corinator. You look for him if you need any hep.

Mr Y: (smiles and nods over-enthusiastically; like he is having a stroke.)

Mrs. X: Okay, so now you know who is he. Dun come to me regarding any assistance. I can't hep chu. Make sure you look for him.

Mr. Y: Yes, anyone have any question regarding financial aid or change in course, you come to me. If you have anything confidential you want to talk about, you look for me as well.

Mrs. X: (serious look on face) Ya, that one is his own private area. I will touch on that later.

Audience breaks up into quiet little sniggers. Uncontrolled laughter heard from yours truly.

The End.

Have you seen the Infinite White?

2010-03-22T23:17:00.002+08:00

have you?
it's a long blinding path of narrowness.
the first and last thing you'll ever see.
it's like the heavens exploding tenfold.
it's the sun at your feet.
the moon in your eyes.
the stars in your hair.
the dazzling mess around you.
the world stops for no one.
but it will stop for you.

the endless circle of ivory sheen.
which knows no bounds.
yet it binds you to it.
the universe cannot withstand it.
nor can you.
but it goes on and on.
never ceasing.
never dampening.
just like time,
it pillages through you like a house on fire.
burns your soul.
turns your mind to light.
glows with pain and joy.
so all you see is Infinite White.

Welcome to Singapore!

2010-03-15T00:41:00.010+08:00

Police officers escort an arrested activist during a two-man-protest in Singapore on January 12, 2009. The two activists were protesting against what they say is unfair treatment of Singapore-based Burmese nationals who took part in a mass demonstration in front of the Burmese embassy here last year during the country's vote on a constitutional referendum. Generally, Singapore's citizens do not have the liberty of free speech and the right to protest.

For full article, click here: http://www.hrw.org/en/news/2010/01/20/singapore-textbook-example-repressive-state

Welcome to Singapore! :)

President Nathan, PM Lee confident ties with Johor will tighten under new Sultan

2010-03-10T02:22:00.005+08:00

SINGAPORE: Singapore leaders have sent congratulatory messages to the Sultan of Johor on his ascension as Sultan. Prime Minister, Mr.Lee Hsien Loong, said he was confident that Singapore-Johor relations would improve.

Lee mentioned that the ties with Johor were pretty loose under the previous ruler, the late Sultan Iskandar, and had kept falling off. He was rest assured by the newly crowned Sultan Ismail Iskandar that the ties would be tied tighter and there would be no chance of coming undone.

"My warmest wishes for Your Royal Highness' good health, and for Johor Darul Ta'zim's continued success in this year of the TIE-ger," Mr Lee added, with a wink.

In other unrelated news, former premier Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad said that he hoped Johor would tighten its ties to the maximum with Singapore, so tight, that they choke. -KNN

ZOUNDS!

2010-03-03T13:03:00.003+08:00

ahh. it's that time again to rant about a topic close to my heart. this one's about politics. malaysian politics, to be precise. (yes, start IP tracking my ass, SB.)

well, been reading a whole lot about the trials and tribulations about a particular malaysian opposition coalition in trouble. not very pretty. i think no other opposition in the world has it as bad as these guys. from tales of froggy independent MPs and Desa Damansara condo(m)s, the opposition sorta resembles a huge jenga block being pushed in all directions. whether it will fall, only time will tell.

it's worrying that these guys are consistently targeted and portrayed in a bad light by government media. worse still, the newspapers make the coalition out to be a flimsy juvenile gathering incapable of leading a nation, let alone a state. hah. but i bet selangor and penang would beg to differ.

then there's the rumour that the government is using funds to buy opposition MPs and coerce them to join the ruling party. all for a 2/3 majority in parliament. (which, incidentally, is already within reach for BN). it is almost comedic to watch these MPs explain themselves and why they left their respective parties. not enough money, teacher too strict, not enough money, my interest not served, not enough money...the list goes on.

but the fact is that the coalition needs to stitch themselves together. i would not say i'm a fan of PKR. i'm not a fan of BN either. but i can identify better with PKR than with BN. i want the divisive boundaries of race to be eliminated. i want us to embrace each other, instead of just tolerating each other. i want a society integrated, not manipulated. and most of all, i want a society capable of thinking and choosing for themselves, not being told by people 'up there' about what and how you should live your life.

sadly enough, that's not the BN doctrine. how can you have 1Malaysia when you still have race based parties? or Perkasa for that matter.
all that is known is that the people will have to decide. and when you decide, choose the party which represents YOUR interest, not let the party choose you to represent THEIR interest.

editor's note: yeah sorry tuan, i can't meet you at bukit aman tomorrow. what? you changed the venue to kamunting? ok lah.

What Dreams May Come.

2010-01-23T18:42:00.002+08:00

here's something cool i found the other day. some genius auto-tuned (taking the pitch from a normal voice and harmonizing it) the whole 'I Have A Dream' speech from MLK and put a song to it. clever eh?

andsoyou'reback..tocyberspace..

2010-01-23T03:19:00.002+08:00

this is seriously the most awesome-est thing i could ever get.
i cannot thank you enough my friend.

Are You OhKKK?

2010-01-22T03:54:00.003+08:00

you know how Israeli intelligence groups like the Mossad or US's CIA or Britain's M16 or even Malaysia's own Special Branch have systematically sent in agents to terminate 'undesirables' like Saddam Hussein or Anwar Sadat or Kim Jong Il or some lady in a hat?

Here's my question: why can't some agency take out people like these? and i don't mean take out like "hiiii..can i take you out for chinese or mexican tonight?"
i mean take out as in KABLAM! take out. you get the idea.

why are these people allowed to roam and ramble and spread their hate everywhere they go? honestly it's people like these that make me just lose hope in humans.

DISCLAIMER: i don't mean to incite anyone to any sort of violence by this. i don't condone violence. if you want to get some of these people, it's strictly by your actions alone. so have fun. :D

Goat Milk.

2009-11-25T02:18:00.002+08:00

so i've come to realise that my time here is at its twilight. i realise that i have mixed emotions of joy, agony, fear, anxiety, disappointment, satisfaction, whatever. i am sorely going to miss my life as it is. i am painfully going to miss the fun we have had along the way. i want nothing more than to wish all the people who have come into my life the best of luck, hope, peace and love in whatever they do and wherever they go. i know its not the end of the road, but its certainly the end of a beautiful and eventful journey for me.

im only sorry i havent told the people around me how much they mean to me enough and known how much i mean to them in return. yes i have trouble expressing myself at times. but cest la vie. its all about actions and not words that matter. cant tell you that enough. (cant act it out, either.)

then again, if i have ever offended any of you along the way, please accept my heartiest i-dont-give-a-flying-****. im just kidding. im sorry. never meant to offend anyways. i've gotta drop this mr. nice guy persona. i need to be more assertive. accept my apology, damn it! stupid piece of friend, you. ASSERTIVE!! ROAR!

i love goats.

okthxbai.

Introducing...The Jostler!

2009-11-22T23:20:00.005+08:00

COMMISSIONER GORDON: who is this guy?

BATMAN: he creeps up on you when you sleep.

COMMISSIONER GORDON: that's it?

BATMAN: he places his hands in your pants.

COMMISSIONER GORDON: that's quite freaky.

BATMAN: then he jostles you. not just once, but over and over again. until you're so high on the jostling, you can't jostle anymore.

COMMISSIONER GORDON: ....that doesn't make sense.

BATMAN: it doesn't have to. the jostler never makes sense. he only jostles until you think it makes sense but it actually doesn't.

COMMISSIONER GORDON: .....

BATMAN: that's not the only thing. he jostles you till you can't even move. he jostles you quicker than you can even say the word 'jostle'

COMMISSIONER GORDON: so what do they call this guy?

BATMAN: The Jostler!

How to Topple A Government (For Dummies)

2009-11-22T18:31:00.002+08:00

welcome to a crash course in toppling a world government in 3 easy steps! no extra costs hidden! what extra cost?! there is no cost! its free! all we ask is a little commitment and dedication. you got those? well how bloody excellent. i like to call this the 3P plan. its really an idiot-proof layout which any dummy can follow. let's explore this fascinating concept, shall we?

(i) THE PEOPLE: in any world body or organisation, the single first and foremost entity you should get on your side are the people. if you no got support from the people, then forget about toppling anything.

(ii) THE POLICE: the second important thing you should understand that any authoritarian government only operates through its police force. where else would they get the strength from? you start by obliterating the police force and kicking out its head. once the police are crippled, you should have no difficulty in reaching the executive body unobstructed.

(iii) THE PARLIAMENT: the last piece-de-resistance is marching into parliament with part (i) and without the interference of part (ii). this is the most simplest step of all: just march into parliament and convince the ruling government to GTFO. sounds pretty naive but there you have it.

alternatively, you always convince the people that their leader is involved in some scandal (sexual, preferably). wink wink. that should get the people on your side. then its all downhill from there.

Christian the Lion

2009-11-10T19:12:00.002+08:00

i have to admit i misted up when i was watching this. rawr.

Lost In KL.

2009-11-09T04:24:00.002+08:00

LDP.NPE.KESAS.PETALINGJAYA.BANGSAR.BATUTIGA.KLSENTRAL.PETALINGSTREET.DUKE.E20.E32.E22.WANGSAMAJU.BRICKFIELDS.POLICESTOP.PASSPORT.JJ.BLEHBLEHBLEH.PLAZATOLL.SHAHALAM.KLCC.JALANHSLEE.PUDURAYA.ROUNDABOUT.FALLSONME.HARMONIZING.SPEEDING.SINGAPOREANDRIVING.CUTTINGACROSSPEOPLE.OVERTAKING.NOSIGNAL.RASUAH.3OCLOCK.5OCLOCK.STUPIDIPOD.FORGOTBAG.REVERSEDOWNROAD.FEDERALHIGHWAY.SUBANGJAYA.USJ.HEIGHTS.KLANG.CHERAS.JALANIMBI.MANUCHELSEA. OFFSIDEGOAL.JOHNTERRY.DROGBAHAVINGBABY.

ah KL. how i love you.

Blowing Up Parliament.

2009-11-05T00:08:00.004+08:00

Remember, remember the days in November,
The shipments, crossfire, red dot,
I don't see a season without Avinash's reason,
Why all our meetings, he forgot.

WTFH.

2009-11-04T17:59:00.006+08:00

An 11-year-old girl became one of the world's youngest mothers - and went into labour on the way to her wedding.
Kordeza Zhelyazkova, from Sliven in Bulgaria, was still wearing her wedding dress and tiara as she was rushed to hospital, where she gave birth to 5lb 8oz Violeta.
Proudly displaying her baby, she told reporters: 'I'm not going to play with toys any more - I have a new toy now.'

Kordeza - who fell pregnant within two weeks of her 11th birthday - spent the night in hospital with Violeta and then headed back to church for her wedding with 19-year-old Jeliazko Dimitrov.
Kordeza told the News of the World: 'It feels strange to be a mum and have a baby.
'I used to play with my toys but now she is my new toy.
'She is so beautiful, I love her. Violeta is the child and I must grow up. I am not going back to school - I am a mother now.'
The couple met when Jeliazko rescued Kordeza from bullies in the playground.
However he now faces six years in jail for having sex with a minor, telling the paper his fears when he found out Kordeza was pregnant.
He said: 'I was really scared.
'We didn't plan to have sex or a baby although I fell in love with Kordeza the moment I saw her.
He added: 'I was walking past the school when I saw some boys mocking her and I told them to leave her alone.
'Then she arranged to meet me and asked me out on our first date. I thought she was 15. She didn't tell me she was 11.'

....

ah Bulgaria. land of the children with children's children. im not surprised really. this has been, what, the third time a (consenting) minor gets pregnant and delivers a child. something up with bulgarian men. im reminded of Borat when he said he bought his wife at 12 and left her 3 years later when her 'voice become deep and grow many hairs on chest...' maybe that's why they start young.

im sorry, but a mother at 11 is something i can't wrap my mind around. i have cousins who are 12 and act like kids for godsakes! what next? a grandmom at 22? and great grandmom at 33? then get married and do it all over again? whats the rush? where's the fire? keep your bulgarian bulges in your pants and wait, oh i dont know, till she's out of primary school!

but knowing me, ever the eternal conspiracy theorist, believe that there is this elaborate plan across the world to see which country can officially produce the world's youngest mother. no, no, listen. think about it. can you picture some concerned old mother in Azerbaijan right now going "damn you bulgarians! ayaan! go next door and get pregnant, now! no i don't care if sesame street is on! go!"

or some arkansas hillbilly at the maternity ward, with his wife and new daughter, going, "lord sakes! mo' booty for daddy tonight. yee haw!" then when asked if he was trying to break the record, asks back, "whut record?"

hey if that's the case, then i say..
"3 MORE YEARS!"
whoo!
yes i constantly refer to this mayan calender on my wall.

Thought for the Sunday VI ....on Saturday!

2009-10-31T00:34:00.005+08:00

why you ask? its simple really. well not that simple. i just feel like simply writing. speaking of simple, boy i wish the finals next week are simple. simply simple. simple simon. mother always said things are simple if you are simple enough to think that you make things seem simple simply by thinking of it as simple. pretty simple huh? good. im glad we cleared the air. feels good to be understood.

but honestly, i AM worried to death with the finals and all. remember back in the day? when you kept studying and somehow you dont feel its enough? and as the days of the final exam draw nearer, your enthusiasm to study goes with it? yeap. story of my life. those who cant relate have either never studied before an exam or never gone to school at all. im a wreck just thinking about it. i dont quite feel myself lately with all this guilt around my neck. mainly because i dont know if im doing enough or not. go figure.

but fear not, for its always darkest before the dawn, so if you want to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the best time to do it.

stealing newspapers aside, i still have that ounce of hope left. i keep this hope alive in the hope that i hope i do well. well enough to make it and read politics at some obscure university next year. then, insya-Allah, i get to either choose to pursue my dream of flying a plane, or joining UNESCO or some foreign NGO. ( then i become political analyst! befriend some random Mongolian girl! get to know her! cant wait! im sure it'll be a 'blast'!) hey stop criticizing me. momma always said before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. that way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away plus you have their shoes.

all my hopes and dreams aside, i'd like to wish all the mates from me class all the very best of luck in the upcoming exams. except david. you dont need it. all you need is a pen. with that, i bid you all a pleasant farewell hoping you simply fare well in the exams. i leave you with another motivating quote from momma;
you are unique.
just like everyone else.

later! <3

Dirty Poli(ce)tics.

2009-10-29T15:56:00.004+08:00

Geez. Never a dull moment when you're a Malaysian politician..

Footnote: (edited)

some of you here may be familiar with the situation in Perak where 3 stooges from the previous elected party jumped ship, breaking the majority of elected reps and effectively selling Perak to the ruling government. now im sure this has been said to death, but i do believe all governments..wait let me rephrase that..all democratic governments should be strictly decided by the People. it's the people whom the government serves, and not the other way around.

now just because 3 elected MPs have declared support for the opposing camp and increased their majority by 3, doesn't really mean the people share the same sentiment and want them in power. who gives a crap who's loyal to which party and who's jumping from here to there? it's what the community wants, isnt it? the ethics are simple.

the power tussle in Perak can easily be solved if the deciding factor goes back to the people and the ruling coalition knows it. expect the current Perak government to only relinquish power when the Fat Lady sings.

whoops. too late.

GOD v2.0

2009-10-28T02:45:00.007+08:00

is it just me? or do some people really think they can act on behalf of a supreme being who put them here in the first place? is it this kind of 'holier-than-thou' mentality that causes men to actually think that by rounding up 'sinners' in God's name, would reserve them a special place in Paradise? since when did sinning against a God become a concrete affair which can be settled with currency and beatings? where does the money go after that? better question: who does the money go to after that? here are more pretty logical questions, if you ask me. for each YES, award yourself 2 points. for each NO award yourself no points. ready?

1. Does taking matters into your own hands defy the very existence of a God?
2. Does God have his own set of rules in dealing with people who sin against Him?
3. Only God has the power of forgiveness and repentance.
4. Should sin be between just you, yourself and God?
5. Is it only your business what you do?
6. Is it only on your blood be the consequences if you disobey God?
7. Is it your responsibility to make sure you live a devout life between you and your God?
8. Is it fair to say that it is only up to you how you want to carry your faith ?
9. Should these so-called 'men of God' be judged instead for defying God's existence?
10. Are these men just plain nosey, sticking their heads in where it doesn't belong?

If you scored 20 points; Great! You're one step ahead in breaking free from the rest of this pretentious world that tries to inhibit the freedom of others for their selfish gain.

If you scored <20 points; Not bad. Your conservative mindset keeps you grounded, yet defies the very logic you stand for.

If you scored 0 points; Ho-ly-Shit.

A Man's Best Friend

2009-10-23T00:14:00.006+08:00

it's 3 years today since i lost my boy. i can truly say there hasn't been a day that i've not thought about the days we had together. i've never known real love and friendship in an animal till i met my dog. he was the most faithful companion you could ever ask for. i could have the most nastiest days of my life and yet come home and find they all disappear when i look him in his eyes. i miss the times he'd snuggle up next to me on my pillow, under my blanket, or the times he'd drift off to sleep when i played "Here Without You" on the piano. i miss the times he used to beg me to take him for walks or play with his rubber ball, which could get annoying at times. i miss the times he'd bark at the vacuum cleaner. i miss the times he used to growl at the neighborhood cats, then run away from them. coward. i miss all the days he used to jump right into my arms when i came back from school and camp. i miss the times he used to hide when it was time for his baths..

Collie, i still remember the day you left me so suddenly. i'm sorry i couldn't do anything to save you. i just take comfort in the fact that i kept you company the whole of your last night in this world. im sorry for just watching you fade away on the cold metal table, so helplessly. i wish i could have died right there with you. but you were so smart, Collie. you waited for everyone to come by your side before you left. i hope to god you're in a better place. with someone you can play fetch with everyday. somewhere with endless green fields you can run across. i just hope you're happy where you are. you made every single day of the ten years with you worth something.

i love you, boy.
and i still miss you terribly.

The Catch-22

2009-10-22T17:53:00.002+08:00

Let me share something fascinating with you guys. now i'm not sure if you've all read Joseph Heller's novel, Catch-22, but the premise of the book is simple. its about an U.S. Air Force soldier during WW II. Allow me to explain what a Catch-22 is. (no JJ, a Catch-22 is not how many balls Pepe Reina will catch if you kick 100 balls at him. hahaha.) seriously though, a Catch-22 is a situation with a double bind trap. wrap your minds around this.

picture a scenario during the war:

a soldier wants to get out of flying in a mission assigned to him by Command.
the only option out is to plead insanity to HQ.
the problem is by telling HQ that he is crazy would mean that he is sane enough to know he is crazy.
and therefore, he is not crazy.
after all, how many crazy people you know would admit they are crazy?

so that would not work.

if he instead chooses to fly the mission, which would mean absolute death given the chances,
that would mean that the soldier IS crazy.
and thus, would NOT have to fly the mission.

Hence, the soldier would have to be crazy to accept more missions and sane if he didn't want to.
but if he was sane, he had to accept the mission.
if he accepted it, he was crazy and didn't have to;
but if he didn't want to, he was sane and had to.

to sum it all up into a something that's summed up, a Catch-22 situation is in fact, beating around the bush, and falling into it at the same time (Johan 2009).

Liverpool kicks out the 12th Man.

2009-10-19T17:22:00.020+08:00

Liverpool were devasted by the less-than-intelligent actions of their 12th man on Saturday's Premiership game resulting in a 1-0 loss against Sunderland. Said manager Rafael Benitez, "It was foolish of us to even think that red round bastard could even try and help us against Sunderland. I wonder why we even got him in the first place. I am seriously considering deflating him and suspending him for the rest of the season."

------------------Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez----------------

Meanwhile, Sunderland A.F.C's Steve Bruce was pleasantly surprised due to the quick thinking opportunity taken by striker Darren Bent. "I'm glad he took advantage of it. Even with an obvious deflection, he seized his chance and scored the winning goal for us. My heart goes out to Rafa and the rest of Anfield. I hear they wanted the disallowed, but I ask, how can you disallow a goal like that? It was such a beautiful finish. Though, I'm quite sure this would not have happened had Torres and Gerrard been playing," he added, with a sly wink. When asked if he'd consider buying the wayward 12th Liverpool player, he said, "We'll keep our options open."

Liverpool are now eighth on the league table.

Straight From the Heart

2009-10-17T17:55:00.007+08:00

i'd like to begin this post with a big apology, firstly, to my blog, for neglecting you. im sorry baby, i won't do it again. i've just been so busy you know? i shouldn't have left you alone. i know you have a lot on your hands. im sorry for not calling you when i should have. im sorry for not talking to the kids long enough and telling them i love them. i'm sorry for..wait wait i'm getting carried away here.

anywho, yes i'm back (and badder than ever). im back to the blogosphere of this planet. i'd just like to add that i've missed all of it, plus the random comments you beautiful people throw in. sorry you guys. =)

this post is not about humour or parodies or laughs or fish. this one's about the good times. for people like Avi, who incidentally said i've never talked about my friends on here (prick), this post sets out to prove him wrong.
my heart used to be heavy somewhere mid July when i realised i only had like 4 months plus with these guys. i was really downhearted knowing that out escapades were bound to be cut short. but then it struck me. like pigeon droppings from an extremely crowded tree. its only the end of our semester together. the end of studying. the end of exams. but it was the beginning of a beautiful relationship and bond. if you were to ask me, 'why of all places did you choose Taylor's to study in when you could have studied in Singapore?' i would first point at Karl, Avi (different finger), JJ, LawYueZhi, Weng Jun and Yuan Ming. no i didn't forget you, David. ^^ these guys have made these nine months so worth it. im not just saying that. who knew these guys would be the reason for my purpose here.

my mates, whom i've dubbed the awesome foursome:

Karl Johan: the frusciante to my kiedis. the edge to my bono. the molotov to my cocktail. the works. Karl, those were some pretty wicked moments we had in class, just cracking up for no apparent reason. it's pretty hard to get a guy as funny and witty as you are. i cant tell you how many times i just had to laugh thinking about your antics. very unbecoming of an astro-physicist. haha. but you've pretty much made my days in and out of college. im just so sorry i couldnt return the favour properly enough. i owe you a fishing trip, no? you're so right about thinking alike, though. im pretty freaked out myself. haha. cant imagine i found a best mate who actually shares my warped sense of humour. not to mention a fellow chili pepper fan. oh yeah.

JJPM: the stiles to my mochrie. the cat to my finger (lol). the watch to my stopping. hahaha. this is one of the hardest people in the world to find. you're wacky, fun, weird, and all round an incredible guy. i've never clicked faster with someone until i clicked with JJ. thats a personal record. its no wonder we're best mates as well. if i didnt know better, i'd swear that this guy's been following me my entire life, just observing everything i like, shows, movies, music and liking them too. you're one in a million my friend. all the best with yvette, debbie, shirley, jane, ambrosia, yvonne, mary, marianne, delilah, fiona, geraldine, betty, veronica, sarah, amanda, theresa, nicole, jane, susan, whitney, natasha, taylor, lilliane. or whoever's on your weekly list. hahaha. im messing around. you're way ahead of 'the game' than i am. ;)

Yue Zhi: the D to my gear, the coolant to my radiator. this guy's a bucket of laughs a day. i just get a kick out of hearing him laugh every single day. most contagious ever. he's the most coolest, calmest (read blur-est) and patient guy under fire. i cant think of a nicer, more polite boy out there. he plays in church, for god sakes! haha. i'd be very surprised if he ends up a foul mouth, gun toting, cigarette smoking mechanic. did i mention he's really into cars? he has the most beautiful girlfriend ever, soft hazel eyes, nice bushy eyebrows, amazing rack, big bootylicious butt. i think her name's Avi or something like that. yeah they fight a lot in class. but who can blame them? so adorable.

Avinash Kumar: the upstairs to my downstairs. the nut to my left, the bastard to my child, the fool to my seven, the..finish? Avi's the craziest guy out there. period. i've never met anyone so random and dog-pornish in my life. the things he says and the noises he makes can get anyone in a stitch anytime. trust me. you've never been on the receiving end of one of Avi's moans. then again, you don't want to be. but nevertheless, Avi, i've always regarded you as my younger brother (read: bother). you're just so fun to kacau and annoy. i never knew another Zimmer-head till i knew you. im just really sorry if i've taken anything too far with you. all in good fun bro. plus, i hope it works out with you and HER. and by her i mean...LATIKA!

so there you have it,
my heart laid out on the table.
its kinda unnecessary but i just want to reiterate how i feel bout you guys.
i love you all.

there is no sorrow,
there are no goodbyes,
there's only tomorrow,
of a meet and surprise.

Closet Case

2009-09-02T18:25:00.007+08:00

just a little something something to brighten your day. :)

The Plague which is Man.

2009-08-29T00:52:00.011+08:00

it's been a freaking mystery to me why they call society 'civilisation' sometimes. i mean come on, who are we kidding? the only thing civilised about this picture is that the crowd is fully clothed. but that's another story. i don't want to delve too much into the silly tantrums of certain quarters here. i could go blind writing that story to death. no, this is about the sanctity of life.

why do men feel they can justify their cause with blood? why is an innocent life brought into this world, regardless if it's an animal, slaughtered for baseless and futile causes? are we due to be intimidated by the sight of blood, cognitively replacing the cow's head with our own? what did the effing cow do to you? why are animals killed in the sickly process of provocations between men? why the hell am i asking you these questions? cows, pigs, dogs, goats. none of these are spared. ask your neighbourhood money-lender. his name's Larry. he'll tell you a thing or two.

yes, i love all beings (mostly). yes, i'm an animal lover. i can't bear to watch an animal needlessly butchered for no logical reason. it sickens me. (men being butchered is another topic altogether; fun!) but i believe in the Animal Truce. What is 'Animal Truce', you ask? well someday, when i rule this world, i'd want to implement the Animal Truce Act; Section 4, Article 1, which states that all animals are to be spared in the blood of war, in the stamping of feet, and in the rioting of buttwipes. (i'm implementing the word buttwipes as well.)

no animal should suffer for man's cause. period. all these protests with animal bodyparts are yellow-bellied attempts to intimidate other groups and have no place in modern society. leave the goddamn animals alone. use your own head instead.

p.s. i'm running/campaigning for Supreme Leader of the World. my agents tell me they predict a landslide in animal votes. :)

Eeeee.

2009-08-23T12:45:00.003+08:00

sigh..
another rank, another platoon, another company.
when will this all be over??
damn it la. i so cant be bothered anymore really.
this is the good life now. freedom. and im loving every single moment of it.
wahaha.

Six Degrees

2009-08-22T17:03:00.004+08:00

so i just got done watching Che: The Argentine again. must say it's one hell of a flick. its all about Che Guevara, a Cuban militant rebel. que? por favor? you no know who thees senor Che is? come on, you've seen him everywhere! okay here's a visual aid for you.

oooohhhh. that guy. i'm wearing his hat. harhar.
anw yeap. pretty intense story actually. its all about his struggle to bring about change to the Cuban dictatorship and politics.
but on another note, i was more fascinated with the actor who was playing him. (not in that way, he's not my type.) his name's Benicio Del Toro and he's pretty much a Latino box-office bombshell. wickedly intense and captivating performance, i should add as well.

and so, this got me wondering about certain things, like facial features, for example. i probably suspect hollywood loves cashing in on men like him for their looks. dead set eyes, rugged personas, huge jaws, clean teeth...but hey, Benicio, i'm sorry amigo. looks like someone else has already filled in your spot...

freaky, huh?

I Can Hardly Speak, I Understand...

2009-08-19T22:39:00.006+08:00

Ever so often you get that one song you've not listened to in ages coming back to haunt you in all its harmonic and lyrical bliss. I had this song pop up in my iPod playlist and it flooded back so many memories in a heartbeat. this is really one song that can apply to every facet of your life whatever you may go through; a lost love, breaking up with someone, breaking up with someone who never knew you loved him or her. so light up, as if you have a choice.

- 'Run' by Snow Patrol

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart, my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess.

Thought for the Sunday VIII

2009-08-18T00:12:00.003+08:00

(08-17) 08:24 PDT FREMONT -- Two kids were rescued and their mother was arrested after she left them in a car in Fremont where the temperature reached 107 degrees, police said today.

Liao Sian of Fremont was arrested after passers-by saw her 2-year-old daughter and 6-year-old son sitting inside her 2000 Toyota in the parking lot of the Safeway store at Fremont and Washington boulevards at about 3:30 p.m. Friday, police said.

Both children were "sweating profusely," and the 2-year-old was weak from heat exhaustion, said Fremont police Sgt. Chris Mazzone.

When asked why she had so irresponsibly left her children unattended, she replied, "Sian Liao." =)

For original article:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/08/17/BAEE199NQ3.DTL

Saturday Night Fever

2009-08-12T16:55:00.004+08:00

zhao an xiao di di hai yo xiao jie . ni hao ma? wo hao. wo HEN hao. wei she me le? ing wei wo mei yo fever liao!
yeap. im feeling like a million bucks. boy it feels good to be back on your feet. this cough is a pain in the ass cos i can't laugh anymore. when i laugh its like im speaking some middle eastern language or something. (hahaha-harrghhooarrrgchhhaachhhrphtpthhthhh!...) but anyway im glad the fever's gone. that means i get to ~~prance around like a little fairy princess queen ballerina~~ do more manly macho guy stuff at home. im glad its all going away though. for a little teeny second i sorta reckoned i had like got THE flu. no not that common flu. he's like so last tuesday. im talking about THE flu. the mother of all FLUs. you dont know which one? okay what makes H-two? H one-n-one. (sorry sorry. i have this irresistable craving to be lame today.) but yeah like i was saying, i kinda thought i got it. i mean telling the doctor your symptoms and having him go "uh-oh" isn't really that comforting. hell he even gave me his contact number in case my fever got higher. i was on like 39.0. pushing 40. i mean people say im hot, but come on! hardly something to pick up a date with here!
it also feels so good not having to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling, trying to sleep and failing. though, come to think of it, staring at the ceiling in bed really isn't that bad unless you're in pretty good shape. ;) but seriously, take care all you people out there in the real world. i think the virus is out of ammo playing russian roulette with my class. i mean most everyone has more or less been infected somehow.
i just got reminded of the conversation i had with my english lecturer not too long ago, she said she didn't believe i was THAT sick that i couldn't get out of bed. heh. i had to reassure her i was and so she left me with these parting words, "you come to class the next time. if i can pull myself out of bed with my sickness, then so can you." i just had to smile then and there cos she put the mental image of a crane pulling her up from bed. for those of you who've seen her, you'll know what i mean. lmao. anw, here's cheers to your health and vitality and spinach. peace, people.

Thought for the Thursday

2009-07-26T20:17:00.003+08:00

howdy all you boys and girls. today on a very special edition of TFTS VI or, in this case, TFTT, i'd like to introduce you all to one of my closest friends, Alfred Coholl or Al, as we all call him. now i can safely say i've actually lost touch with Al about 2 years back. never seen him that much since the last couple times we partied. and boy we had some good times. ;) so it's without a doubt i can say i was pretty much excited about meeting him again. i didn't have that much of you that night, Al, but thanks for a wonderful time again anyway. i kinda missed your taste on my lips and how you burn them with your fiery passionate essence. i missed all the times when i had you inside, making me go crazier with shot after shot. you do know how to really turn me on sometimes. haha. i really don't care what people think but i think i love you. i really do. and i wish i could see you again soon, but unfortunately, too much of you can't be a good thing, can it? boy i'm so confused. i know one thing though, i will cherish all the memories i had with you. you turn any night into a fun and exciting one. wink wink. so, till we meet again, here's me saying you'll always be mine, AlCoholl. (what were you people even thinking?)

P.S. i hope you liked my darling friends as well. boy you sure do mix around good. =]

ZOMG.

2009-07-21T21:49:00.005+08:00

what's this, you say? it's exam time and you're blogging, Calvin? shouldn't you be studying? do you realize that this is mid semester? this is gonna prepare you for the trials and the finals! you really shouldn't be this irresponsible, i mean, it's not like this is some class test or anything. something you can just go easy on. its mid-freaking-semester! whatever you've learnt since March would be coming out to test your knowledge and what you've learnt so far. this is very foolish of you not to be mugging 24/7 for your paper tmr. how is it you can be so relaxed and calm in the midst of this crazy time? don't you take anything seriously, Calvin? why are you so carefree about life and so cool about school? you're not even getting a proper rest before the exam. hell, you're not even sleeping sometimes. this isn't high school where you can just cram and cram and come out tops in the finals. cramming does you no good. you should have started a long time ago. but instead, you were so happy-go-lucky and so idle, watching the world pass you by. sometimes i think it's because you don't care about anything, Calvin. you're still taking your own sweet time to revise and catch up with what you've missed out. are you ready for the coming exams? are you? so why are you blogging when the exams are going on right now?

because i can. ; ]

Thought for the Sunday V

2009-07-19T02:25:00.006+08:00

guten haben mein dammen und herren. =] welcome to another episode of 'Thought for the Sunday' with yours truly. hope you guys had a smashing weekend. i know i didn't what with the exams coming up and all. curse all you assessments. life would be so much easier without these scholastic grade markers and educational ranks. what is 'rank' anyway? just a little piece of certification to show that you're higher than someone else. but i do have to say that it has its merits. after all, its what the outside world wants to see. anywhere you go, its level this and rank that.

speaking of ranks, i've finally watched the most amazing mini-series i have ever laid my eyes on. those of you who really know me, would know that i'm a military-obsessed lunatic plus i'm kinda into the whole world war II era type stuff with hitler and the nazis and the germans and the swastikas and the tight leather pants..umm okay i better stop there. so anyways, this mini-series is called 'Band of Brothers' and its all about, yes you guessed it you smart little thing, world war II and hitler and the nazis and the germ...fine i'll stop.

the whole premise is taken from the adventures and experiences of Easy Company and the rest of the 506th Parachute Infrantry Regiment. these tough momma-jammas were the ones who were sent in on D-Day to liberate parts of Europe from the Krauts. (offensive nickname for Germans), sent to Bastogne in France during the "Battle of the Bulge' and also to destroy Hitler's residence called the 'Eagle's Nest.' under the guidance and leadership of MAJ Richard Winters, CPT Ronald Speirs, CPT Lewis Nixon and 2LT Carwood Lipton, Easy Company was led to victory in liberating Europe and also in defending the various people who were undermined by the Nazi Regime. (check these links out if you're like me =|)

Watching episode after episode made me realise something however. it made me realise that you could have the best leader in the world, under the best leadership in the world. but when you go out there, you will never really know what the enemy has got planned for you. just like life. and you can't really rely on leadership to get you out of bad situations. sometimes you have got to lead your leader. because if we really want success, then its a joint effort. all you need are your wits, your hands and your heart. and just like the men of Easy Company, you need a good team who looks out for each other and backs each man up. the dedication which was portrayed was incredible. and truly enough, it also portrayed what i've learnt from my army days: you could have the highest rank among your men, but it's your actions and not your rank that your men will eventually come to respect.

so with that said, i salute the men of E Company and whatever they have gone through. i also salute the men of E Company who were left behind, who died fighting for their country. all your bravery, courage and right out guts really got me questioning my own and what i would have done under the similar conditions. currahee! =]

Thought for the Sunday IV

2009-07-12T20:56:00.000+08:00

"In a friend, you find a second self."
- Isabelle Norton

i realise i haven't exactly taken the time to write this down and i know i don't have to because the people in question here should already know it. but i kinda actually want to because i feel i express things better with words. and words are all i have since being physical would pretty much be inappropriate right now. so i'd like to start now and thank the clan and clique for being the people they are and for the bond we've established in such short notice. i can honestly say i feel like i've known you all my life Karl, Avi and JJ. the day's just another grain in the hourglass; the ticks in a clock; the sun moving aimless without you 3 best mates. it's really weird how much common ground we stand on and how everything suddenly seems funny with you guys around. but call it fate/luck/karma/superstition/destiny/coincidence/irony/chance or just plain randomness that we ended up in the same boat, it's still really good to know you dudes and i want you to know that. and no, my emo-ness has nothing to do with anything. im feeling rather melancholic and nostalgic tonight so yeah. i think it was Karl who first mentioned the phrase "taking a bullet" and i'd like to assure him that i'd also be a Lieutenant Werner von Haeften to you Colonel Claus von Stauffenbergs in the firing squad of life. (uh you may need to watch Valkyrie to understand that one.) so this is me saying cheers to our bonds of brotherhood and long live sacred germany. love ya guys.

Thought for the Sunday III

2009-07-05T17:35:00.002+08:00

have you ever...

wanted something you never had?
wanted someone so very bad?
then realise you cannot pull through
since the plague only lies within you.

that very layer of your heart lies torn,
from all the lying and scorn.
then you find yourself at the brink.
just wondering what they will think.

it's time you wait at opportunity's doors,
and know that it's not their life but yours,
because this world doesn't wait for men
who shy away from a life condemned.

it's about you, my dear, and what you choose
who am i to make you lose?
your god-given right to what you want
and to whom your love you wish to flaunt.

they say if you want something, you set it free
if you find it back, it's meant to be
and i would throw you to the draught
but you're not mine and mine to have

the heartaches and want which still linger on,
cannot compare to those tired waking morns,
when i awake from those unreal dreams
of just you and me under the seams

and when it comes to another day
when the stars are out and the moon does stray
i think of like how it would be
of just me and you: eternity.

have you ever wondered or imagined?
just us together among the pageant.
and i'm telling you things i should have said
of why i lie and pretend to be someone else instead.

the truth is plain and the truth is strange
my heart and yours are out of range.
the beats all match and the rhythm arise
i chose you to synchronize.

so now hope and faith is what i toll.
its only you i want to have and hold. <3

all rights unreserved.
to be used on that special person we all have a place in our hearts for.

Bum Rap.

2009-07-04T15:55:00.004+08:00

if i could just take a moment of your time to wallow in my non-existent perasan-ness or vanity. i just found this pic kinda funny to look at so i thought i'd put it up here.

check out the tush on yours truly. ;)

Thought for the Sunday II

2009-06-28T01:41:00.006+08:00

"The throne shall never be empty; the country shall never be without a monarch, the King is dead, Long live the King! Le Roi est mort, vive le Roi!" - Proclamation of Royal Obituaries.

i must first start by saying how much this news shocked and surprised the living daylights outta me come last Friday morning. i was getting ready to leave the apartment for college when my phone buzzed. thinking it was a friend or something, i casually glanced at the screen.

MUM (07:36): "michael jackson has died from cardiac arrest."
MUM (07:40): "farah fawcett died too."

at this point, my whole body went into what i like to call the 'wtf' mode. symptoms include a weak, open jaw, temporary alignment of the head to a 40 degree angle, eyes almost bulging and consistent muttering of rhetorical questions under one's breath. all this was just for michael btw. yeah so farah fawcett died. boo hoo. hey, the show's called 'charlie's angels' for a reason. completely slipped from my mind like hot butter on a knife. anw, i immediately started thinking it was some sorta joke. i mean, come on, how could michael jackson be dead at 50? the guy sleeps in an oxygen chamber for christsakes. so i turned the telly on to the breakfast show, (kinda reliable, i figure) and bam! hits me like a freight train. murky subtexts flying from left to right. pictures of michael jackson flood the screen. then the final blow: "1958-2009"

well needless to say, i walked to college with a mixture of shock and awe, just trying to contemplate the reality of the situation.
classes kinda made me forget about his death a bit, since we were too busy laughing at random stuff. then came the long bus ride back. and hey, i did what any grieving fan would have done. i plugged in my ipod and set a michael jackson playlist. hell i ain't ashamed to say it. it's the least i could do anyway. i spent my entire childhood on michael jackson. i grew up to 'beat it', 'billie jean' and 'thriller'. not to mention i actually watched 'moonwalker'. i even take influence from his music when it comes to writing a tune. this dude's touched me in so many ways, (pun intended) hell, he's made impacts on billions of other people. so much so that i think cardiac arrest is really a bit of an anti-climax. sounds like a sissy way to go really. its like death by slipping on a banana peel. (no offense to you people who have actually died from banana peels.) michael jackson's the kind of person you'd expect to die by a flock of doves carrying him away or by spontaneously combusting.

but there i was, watching the sunset over the highway, watching the trees run me by, as the now-posthumous voice filled my ears and brought me back to the yesteryear. all i could think of was 'thanks mike' for trying your best to make this world a better place, while getting mocked for it. i'd like to believe your innocence since there is no point of making it an issue now. i admire the love you had and so unselfishly shared. the people spurned you but you never stopped loving them. for this, i say: rest in peace, michael joseph jackson. may you find the comfort and love you were looking for in another world. :(

Being Calvin.

2009-06-23T23:30:00.004+08:00

for as long i can remember, the art of zone-ing out has been a gift to my personality. i've never known how obvious it was until now. oh if only you could be in my head and see the things i see, hey, you'd be pretty dazed and blank yourself.

Thought for the Sunday

2009-06-21T23:59:00.000+08:00

The seven seals is a concept of Christian eschatology, which comes from the Book of Revelation in the Christian Bible, where seven seals are described in Revelation 5:1. The seven seals are opened by the Lion of Judah, one by one. New Testament Book of Revelation 5:5; "And one of the elders saith unto me, Weep not: behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof." This was usually the kingdom given to the Crown Prince of Israel. Jesus in Christian traditions is the King of Kings, not the Crown Prince. The Lion of Judah is a deliberate direct reference to a worthy Prince "Of the Blood of Christ"....
It also states that there will be "seven trumpets" announcing aspects of the "End Times": mankind being judged, seas turning to blood, sores on people's bodies, plagues, infertility, and the introduction of "seven bowls" (in King James Version called "vials"). These bowls are a third each of the sea, humankind, water, animal life, ships, crops, and earth, all engulfed by an infinite abyss.

now i don't profess to be a religious person, but from what i understand from this gospel is that there are seven seals bestowed to us upon Judgement Day. (*cough* 2012 *cough*)
okay. fantastic. seven seals. from the sky. call it by which ever way you choose, Judgement Day, Hari Kiamat, Qiyamah, Oh My God The World Is Ending!, Deos Judgementos, Apocalyptos, Eucalyptus..is gonna be freaking crazy.
okay so, to my understanding, there are seven seals thrown down on this earth by god. and then, he gets this guy Judah and tells him to set his lions upon the seals to open them up one by one. there's also a Root of David mentioned, but i'm guessing this David guy has a hair problem. anyways, it gets better! there are seven trumpets thrown in. here's where i'm assuming there's some kind of heavenly band coming down to play while the world gets destroyed, you know, like in Titanic, where those blokes played crappy music to a screaming crowd. as if they weren't annoyed enough. so back to my interpretation. after the trumpets and band and seals are down, god throws down seven bowls!
woah. am i the only one here who absolutely cannot wait for world's end? smoking weed, eating seafood and listening to jazz. i love you, god. even in the chaos and fire, you're an excellent host. please don't judge me on this.

p.s. btw god, i was thinking, since you're sending down a seven trumpet jazz band, you might want to include an EIGHTH seal? just to liven up the party? thank you. amen.

Star-struck.

2009-06-21T23:29:00.000+08:00

PATTINSON HIT BY CAB WHILE ESCAPING FANS

Heartthrob actor ROBERT PATTINSON was hit by a taxi while running away from fans who mobbed him on the New York City set of his new movie.
The British star was left unhurt by the scrape, which took place in downtown Manhattan on Thursday (18Jun09), while he was shooting Remember Me in the city.
A team of five burly security guards couldn't stop a swarm of teenage girls pouncing on Pattinson as he left the Strand bookstore during a film break, and, as he rushed across the road to safety, he was clipped on the hip by a yellow cab.
According to RadarOnline.com, one bodyguard checked Pattinson for injuries before screaming at the fans, "You see what you did, you almost killed him!"

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

allow me a minute to just regain my composure from laughing my head off. you twilight fans remember the scene where the handsome vampire saves his lass from being splattered by a car, using his superhuman unholy evil vampire strength, don't you? good.

let this be my shortest article ever in where i only have just two words to write when i say: DEFINE IRONY.

.
.
.
.
now, back to my childish giggling.

Santa Claus boycotts Christmas 2012.

2009-06-07T00:38:00.000+08:00

(The Hark Herald) NORTH POLE - In what seems to be another blow to the already crumbling global economy, patron saint of gift-giving and local philanthropist, Santa Claus (pictured above) has announced that he will be boycotting the national holiday of Christmas in 2012.

Nicholas von Badelt Klaus, better known as the plump, jolly, white-bearded man donned in a red coat with white collar and cuffs, white-cuffed red trousers, and black leather belt and boots, has publicly declared his unwillingness to participate in the season of merryment with regards to the much publicized '2012 Doomsday Prophecy'.

Said a visibly distraught Klaus, 783, "I am very concerned with this prophecy and have spent many a sleepless night pondering over it. One factor my wife and I are particularly concerned with is the geo-magnetic reversal of poles and how it will affect us. As a citizen of the North Pole, I have absolutely no desire to be relocated to the South. Do I look like a (censored) redneck Mexican Eskimo to you? We have had numerous meetings with the elves and reindeers, including Mary, my wife and we have come to ideal solution of simply not going for Christmas in 2012. Hey, if the world is ending, then there isn't much point to gift-giving, is there? Now, get off my goddamn [sic] boat!"

The geo-magnetic reversal of poles is a phenomenon that occurs when the North and South Poles switch magnetic polarity. Its effect on humans is not known at this time, but it remains a threat to civilization, especially to Klaus himself.

Klaus has also expressed disbelief at his heavenly government, citing a 'glitch in management and protocol' to be held responsible for the impending disaster, and for those responsible to publicly step down and relinquish all posts. He has also stated that the decision was made in haste and poor judgement, adding that it was too soon to call for a global crisis. Known for his staunch support for U.S. President Barack Obama, Klaus has said he hopes his act of protest will urge several heavenly leaders to postpone Judgement Day to give the U.S. President, whose current tenure ends in November 2012, a chance to be re-elected to another four year term in office.

Klaus has served as the publicly renowed delivery boy since the inception of the post in the early 14th century. His credentials include promoting countless seasons of joy and happiness, temporarily stopping wars between nations and paying guest visits at many shopping outlets, where he entertains little children as a hobby.

(For more updates, please visit our local webpage at www.harkheraldonline.com)

Snap, Crackle, Pope!

2009-06-01T20:28:00.000+08:00

okay, so it took over 200 years to elect the first African American President of the United States. what we have now is a man from a minority ethnic group leading a world superpower, a man whom people thought to be an underdog because of his race and creed. The people of America rallied with him and picked him, over an army veteran and P.O.W, whom no one cares about now, and also over a Caucasian woman, whom frankly wasn't picked because of her husband and his loose pants. Obama's victory meant something to this world, showing other countries how a 'coloured' man could be chosen to hold the highest office in the world, showing them how race has become insignificant in these modern times.

now this got me thinking: if moderate America can say they support and back the leadership of a black man, then what about the Vatican? we know that women and gay army veterans can't be priests, let alone hold the office of the Papacy, but isn't it just kinda odd that the Catholic Church has never had a black pope? let's do the math here: America has been around, what, 226 years now? the Catholic Church has been around for 1914 years. hmm. 226 vs. 1914. 226 < 1914.
all white leaders of America till 2008. all white leaders of the Church till - present.

will the world see a black pope after Pope Benedict XVI? can a black man lead the billions of Catholics around the world? is he gonna wear the robes and NOT look a pimp? will he stand at St. Peter's Basilica after his election and yell, "what up peeps?!" more importantly, will he choose his papal name to be 'Sweet Jesus'. then call himself Pope Sweet Jesus I? only god knows.

i say, bring in the minorities! hell, why stop at african american? bring in the hispanics AND the asians! we could have our first Latino pope, Pope Carlos y de la Ricarda Robinho Santa Maria de Florenza y Theresa Conception de la Raúl Rafael Juliá y Arcelay-Guiterrez? or even an east indian pope, who may call himself Adam. to which you have Pope Adam. (say that fast to get the joke.) the native indians, however, seeing as they name anything after the first thing they see, might just name themselves Pope Black Smoke or Pope Lotsa Funny Men in Red Dresses. i don't think that would sound right in Church.

come on Vatican City, elect a minority into the papacy. let the rest of the world know that race has become a thing of the past in the scientific world, as well as the religious. i leave all the Popes over the centuries with this parting statement: if Jesus WAS black, then you're all screwed.

Snowglobe.

2009-05-25T23:39:00.000+08:00

first off, if you were wondering what the last post was about, it was a lazy Sunday evening and i was bored, okay? sue me. i couldn't move a muscle and i was bored. anyways, now that that's cleared up (or is it?), let me start by saying that i'm being overcome with a sense of dread as of late. it's inexplicable and yet, at times, tangible. maybe it's because i'm just slipping in and out of focus between the things i'm supposed to get done and the things which don't really matter. but it's the kind of dread that gets you down, and gets you to your knees, forcing you to shut off and stop, in other words, quit and abandon the race. it's shrouding me and making me second guess myself in almost everything i do lately. that being said, i know i have to fight my way out this deadlock and find my way out of these crossroads. call me naive or foolish, but i do know the signs of impending struggles and toil and last stands. call it experience. i just hope i still have the determination and grit which i used to. i must admit these two particular qualities have quite eluded me since i started this adventure 2 months ago. it's funny how things seemed so perfect and carefree just then. now i just feel the warning signs from the impending chaos from my life about to be turned on its head.
have i depressed you enough already till this point? call me if you need a shoulder to cry on. i just may need yours too.

Fodja hiyermankintof.

2009-05-24T16:39:00.000+08:00

hejer! uland moka tooi peen to lakamakasakala niewsielof. fe rosta mudsafir to neek kila dess ka mon shuii bepolinskilafadafadoo. =D hut bannyoit, sekil messterabut hutt topkilish ubangii saytee swatferenger shat. meen bossi defretutui YONINILA! haha! ;) burresester, tutthu feer feer vitt la wasqualee vinshasta cutralonic restersa. LOL. jumpi wumpi girerla sointe deallwallla goomiwamba, tehlijah wamba. :S sirrelexy! Zooprooyella hevenshistofferson inni latkitsa wert?? jookoolo ma fitrestuilakana, simmoloni goosh troosh moosh holifollidolli. hahaha! dembelinni druisutix mellakalani yusturu morgennstraight. loksamikcchelle n kissingerestry. hoity woity kahn mrestry kuiver saz naif saz dert. =0. parew woytl marx se sist ontro compostilala. ministro sinfrestra guud towalla heimmstraflargistic. poot? FIKKEN GOO! hahahaha. joday, si bumster ja feelan woozygarester. haha. sins ja zoon!! jye pye! :)

Insomnia and Me.

2009-05-17T17:32:00.000+08:00

so it's been 2 months since i haven't blogged. the laziness calls. that being said, i was sorta busy these past couple months. work, work and more work. the title says it all. these deadlines and due dates have been taking a toll on my body clock. i'm drinking tea and warm milk right now but to no avail. hey mr. sandman! you've forgotten me, you idiot! give me a freaking dream already!
it is quite strange, (and that's quite common in my world.) but i seem to enjoy staying up, not being to sleep. the darkness and the quieting silence is enough to calm my nerves. i like dark. it's so peaceful. it's good for some quiet reflection and meditation, but my short attention span does not allow that unfortunately. hey did you hear that new song by Radiohead? (see what i mean?)
but seriously, it's a pretty weird feeling you get when your body's tired as hell but your mind's racing like a bullet. it's getting quite annoying to fall asleep these days, when you're slowly drifting off to sleep, and everything's getting ready to shut off, and you're about to fall into the most serene of sleeps, then suddenly, you think of school or how football with the mates was fun or how the world should stop hating each other and start loving and caring more often. then you sit up and start wandering about the house because your mind is telling you you're not done for the day. next thing you know, you're asleep on the couch 5 hours later with the TV blaring. oh and you wake up with a splitting headache and a bad back from sleeping on the couch the whole night. another night of beauty sleep just gone with useless thoughts. sigh.
there you have it folks. the next time you lay in your bed, enjoying endless nights of beautiful dreams and divine snooze-fests, think of poor old me, awake and cranky and cursing your perfectly synchronised body clock. i'm just kidding. see you when i have a less whiny article to write. pleasant dreamzzzzz to all of you!

and then there wasn't light.

2009-03-28T17:08:00.000+08:00

strange that the idea of turning your lights off for at least one hour seems so much like a chore for some people. what? need light to sit around the house doing nothing? but seriously, it's only an hour folks. sit, meditate, focus, fall asleep, bump into each other, light candles, play hide and seek extreme, tap someone on the shoulder then pretend no one's there. sounds fun, no?
enjoy earth hour 2009.
peace.

post fhore.

2009-03-26T17:39:00.000+08:00

evening all.
another day after school. i cant believe i'm reduced to watching people talk their mouths off at a little old starbucks cafe just down the road. sigh. boy the things some people talk about. yada yada yada. i'll have to apologize in advance for any typos owing to the fact that i'm banging the hell out of my keyboard in frustration at the lousy wireless connection here. its feels like someone is stroking your cheek and slapping it at the same time. i need a modem, i swear to god. i'm become enlightened at how addicted to the internet i am. a.d.d.i.c.t.e.d. so i'm always on a buzz when i'm online here. (which is unfortunately not too much for the time being.)
anyway school was a blast. people here can be really cool, contrary to what i thought. here i was thinking i'd be lost after missing a day's worth of class, but nooo...i was well informed by the end of today. :D
i'm extra :D today since i just realized tomorrow's friday. see, for me, friday's a weekend as well. i feel sorry for all you people with only two days for weekends. boo hoo. here i am with three days. whoopdedoo.
so yeah, i'm already planning what to do for tomorrow. i want to go exploring this fine city. take a bus, take the trains, walk for all i care. i don't care. i need to find my way around. only i figured that public transportation likekindasortalike sucks. but hey, you only live once. and don't get me started on the taxis here. makes the taxi drivers back home seem like posh personal chauffeurs. you can't have everything i guess..
till next time then.
i'm gonna head back soon.

peace out.

Since I've been tagged...

2009-03-20T00:03:00.000+08:00

I miss somebody right now.

I do not watch TV these days.

I wear glasses or contact lenses.

I love to play video games.

I have tried marijuana.

I have been in a threesome.

I believe honesty is the true policy.

I have changed mentally over the last year.

I carry a knife/razor with me everywhere.

I curse. (well i was a sailor.)

I'm totally smart. (and not too modest.)

I've broken someone's bones.

I'm paranoid sometimes. (stop looking at me!)

I would get a plastic surgery if it were 100% safe,free of charge and scar free.

I need money right now.
(speaking of which, can i borrow $100?)
I love sushi.

I talk really,really fast.

I have long hair. (well I used to.)

I have lost money in Las Vegas.

I have at least one sibling.

I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.

I couldn't survive without Caller ID. (i wanna know who the hell calls me.)

I like the way I look.

I'm usually pessimistic.

I have a lot of mood swings.

I have a hidden talent. i leave it to you to find out what.

I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.

I have pecked someone of the same sex.

I enjoy talking on da phone.

I practically live in sweat pants or PJ pants.

I love to shop.

I enjoy window shopping.

I would rather shop than eat. (not that extreme.)

I'm a pretty good dancer. (only when i'm in the mood.)

I don't hate anyone.

I'm completely embarrased to be seen with my mother.
(sorry mum, but i am.)
I have a cell phone.

I believe in God.

I watch MTV on a daily basis.

I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. (don't ask. i don't remember.)

I have rejected someone before.
(sorry L.)
I want to have children in the future. (children are the future.)

I have changed a diaper before. (see above.)

I'm not allergic to anything. (dust.)

I have a lot to learn. (don't we all.)

I'm shy around members of the opposite sex. (<3)

I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.(i'm not like that.)

I have tried alchohol before. (hellsh yeahsh!)

I own the "South Park" movie.

I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.

I love Michael Jackson. Scandals and all. (beat it.)

I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. (i wish i knew.)

I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
(sue me.)
I'm happy at this moment.

I'm obsessed with girls. (girls are god's most beautiful creatures.)

I'm obsessed with boys.

I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.

I study for tests all the time. (i wish i did.)

I have more than just my ears pierced.

I walk barefoot wherever I can.

I've jumped off a bridge.

I love sea turtles.

I spend ridiculous money on make-up. (okay not make up. maybe just on hair wax.)

Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.

I worked at Mcdonald's restaurant.

I like sausages.

I love kisses. (hint hint.)

I fall for the worst people.

I adore bright colours.

I can't live without black eyeliner.

I usually like covers rather than originals. (hell yes.)

I can pick things up with my toes. (all the time.)

I still have every journal I've written in.

I can't stick to a diet.

I talk in my sleep.

I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.

I have jazz in my blood.

Climbing trees is a brilliant pastime.

I wear a toe ring.

I can't stand at least one person I work with.

I'm a caffeine junkie. (i. need. coffee.)

I have been to over 15 conventions.

I will collect anything,the more nonsensical the better. (that's so me.)

I'm an artist.

I only clean my room when necessary.

I like a person of the same sex.
(my home bro.)
I love being happy. (nah. not all the time. then you're just on medication.)

Love Story Rewritten

2009-03-19T22:49:00.000+08:00

We were both young when I first saw you
And through my eyes,
All the flashbacks start
To take me there
On a balcony in summer air

With the wind
With the night air upon us,
With the moonlight beating down on the waves,
I turn to go,
Cos little did I know,

That you were Juliet, you were making faces,
And my heart, it broke into a million pieces
So I was crying on the staircase
Hoping you wouldn’t go, so I said

Juliet take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be right here, if you wanna ever come
I'll be the prince and you’ll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

So I sneaked out to your garden to see you
We keep quiet 'cause I’m dead if they knew
So close your eyes
As I kiss your summer smile.

'Cause you were Juliet, I was a desperate sailor
And the world seemed different a whole lot later,
And you were everything to me
I was begging you please don't go so I said

Juliet take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be right here, if you wanna ever come
I'll be the prince and you’ll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

Juliet save me, I can’t tell you how to feel,
This love is difficult, but it's real
We’ll prove them wrong, they can’t tell us what’s best.
It's a love story baby just say yes

Oh oh

I’ll be right here waiting,
Eventhough the world would be passing me by
I’ll watch this sunset, fading
Till I meet you at the crossroads of time
and I said

Juliet save me, I need you to take me home,
I keep wond’ring, if this love will ever come
i’ve gone this through, there’s no need to think
I’ll kneel to the ground and pull out a ring
And say, marry me Juliet

You'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad, he’ll pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby just say yes.

'allo, 'allo!

2009-02-18T22:32:00.000+08:00

is there a bottle of champagne in the house for the maiden post?